Hope

Hope is the spark in the distance the one that lights the fire.

But every time I see myself getting some kind of feeling inside it is extinguished with a bucket of cold water. My imaginary tears roll down my face every second I feel this pain.

Every moment I’m alive I’m screaming inside. Crying inside. Everyday I wake up I swear I’ll make it a good one just to fall down in the evening as dead as one can be and sinking in the pain of the day and the ones before. The hope of making other people get out of this hell is what’s keeping me alive. Not for long I fear though. I don’t know how to think what to think. Because everywhere I look there is pain.

There always is something reminding me of something. No nothing can fill the hole inside of me. The great emptiness. The shattered castle of glass. There is no one to save the sinking ship in the storm I’ve become, in the mess I made. The pain I’ve caused.

I just don’t want to anymore. Why should I if all I have are drugs and emptiness. The drugs that I’ve become addicted to, my friends, not the alcohol broke my heart, not the weed broke my trust it were my friends. So please don’t leave me not now not like the others did when I needed them most.

Don’t leave my deserted soul out here alone… Don’t let my hope be extinguished again. Not like every day… Keep the flame burning!
Please!

My hope is so little if not just to say a little glimmer in the dark falling towards the black ocean.